Daddy Issues

HEY EVERYONE!

Welcome to the Lotus sisters blog! We will be sharing our experiences and opinions on different topics. We also want this to be a safe space for all of our Kreyol and Caribbean sisters to share their viewpoints while creating a sisterhood, so don’t be shy ladies! This is raw and uncut.

“There are different kinds of father’s. Those who love unconditionally, those who love on condition, and those who never love at all.” -Tricia Levenseller

Every girl/woman dreams or have dreamt of being loved by a man unconditionally, and we’ve all heard the saying that a girl’s first love is her father, and the bond that a girl has with her father determines the kind of man she ends up loving or being with. However, what happens to the girls/women who grew up with fathers who are present physically but not emotionally? Do we just go through life chasing after the type of love we didn’t get from our dad’s while growing up? Most likely!

I’m sure we’ve all heard the terms “Girl Dad” or “Daddy’s Girl” and father’s all around the world have taken pride in raising their daughters with the right amount of love and care & being that father figure in which their daughters look up to. They also become the blueprint of the type of man their daughter will one day marry. Now this post is by any means going to bash our Daddy, because at the end of the day we are all products of our environment. We are all human, and some dad’s make mistakes. Sometimes at the expense of their daughters. For those of us who’ve had a strained relationship with our daddy’s, we carry a different label:

“Daddy Issues”

In a Caribbean household, divorce is never really an option, therefore, a lot of us grew up with our dad’s around, and being open about our feelings was unheard of which plays a role in why there was a lack of emotional attachment.

These issues, if not resolved can and will haunt a girl into adulthood, especially if she tries to compensate for the attention she didn’t receive from her father in her relationships.

Story time

I have daddy issues.. My relationship with my dad has gotten so much better over the years. But growing up, it was a lot different. My dad was always the provider of the family, he was never without a job no matter what it was and for that I will always love and appreciate him. However, I always knew I was missing something. I don’t remember the last time my dad told me he loved me, or that he was proud of my accomplishments, despite my countless mistakes. I don’t remember him admiring how beautiful his daughter has become. In a nutshell, my dad wasn’t the complimenting, encouraging, loving type. He showed his affections by providing. Some might say I sound ungrateful, but that’s not the case.

I have spent years yearning for some sort of relationship with my dad, but with every wrong decision I made, the more he distanced himself.

As if things weren’t bad enough, I found myself comparing my relationship with my dad with others which further infuriated me. I was left wondering “ why am I not good enough?” or “what do I have to do to make you love me?” of course these questions go unanswered. I’ve gotten to an age whereby I am more focused on maintaining the relationship we have now, rather than reliving the past. I do wonder from time to time, if my choices in men would have been different if my dad and I had a better relationship.

My daddy issues aren’t the typical kind, but they definitely exist.

Here are Some signs you may have daddy issues:

• Being attracted to men your dad’s age.
• Having boundary issues.
• Being overly clingy or jealous.
• You need constant reassurance of love and affection.
• You only feel loved when you are having sex with someone.
• The thought of being alone scares you.
• You jump from relationship to relationship.

Remember ladies, Truth is we all have our own versions of daddy issues and we’re here to tell you that it’s never too late to heal and rebuild that relationship with your dad or to forgive him for his mistakes so that you can heal.

This is a blog that aims to create a sisterhood through experiences, so if you enjoyed this blog, share it with a friend and comment down below. Don’t be afraid to share your stories too!